Never take your left nostril for granted.

I did, and look ad whad happened do me. *sniff*

No, seriously, I'd gotten spoiled -- taken it for granted, that whole breathing thing. And then I caught what everybody else in my family has, and hey-presto: my nose backed up like a drain in a cheap hotel. Ugh.

On the upside, I may have a new statistic to add to the family newsletter, when we get around to writing it: the average number of Kleenexes used per day during cold season. What's the number? Well, how will I motivate you to read the bi-annual novella if I tell you now.

Is it cold season, by the way? I should make sure of that before we publish the newsletter. How can you tell if it's cold season? Do they put a notice in the paper, like they do with duck-hunting season? Or is it like tourist season where you don't know it's coming until suddenly there're dozens of little germs wandering around...?

Don't get me wrong, I love the tourists. I do! They're cute. They carry cameras and ask me for directions in the most charming way. They keep me in business. *pause, lip twitches* But why must they travel twenty miles under the speed limit, and then slam on the brakes at every curve??

There. Hypothetical questions for you to ponder while I go hunt up another box of Kleenex -- I've hit cardboard on this one.